Thursday, December 5, 2019
Introspection free essay sample
Iââ¬â¢ve been sitting at my computer, staring at a blank Word document for fifteen minutes. Thinking. The acidic white is beginning to make my vision blur, rolling out over the computer monitor and across the desk, and I canââ¬â¢t seem to choose an uncomfortable memory. And not from lack of experienceââ¬âas far as awkward situations go, Iââ¬â¢ve faced the tempest. I could talk about the time I spent an evening with a couple that bickered nonstop, careening toward a massive breakup. Or the time I was babysitting and the four-year-old decided to play Tag and made me chase her three blocks while she screamed for help. I could talk about a lot of things. But very few were handled with grace or strength of will, and fewer still involved a learning experience aside from, ââ¬Å"Well, never doing that again.â⬠So what can I talk about? What pushes me beyond the edge of comfort? The computer screen staring back at me is a little less blank, smudged by the thin stalks of typ e, but still daunting. We will write a custom essay sample on Introspection or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page I donââ¬â¢t like looking at it. What makes me uncomfortable? This essay. This essay, in which weââ¬â¢re told to poke twigs into the anthills of past humiliations, past heartaches, past discomforts, makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I almost loathe it. It isnââ¬â¢t the writing that bothers meââ¬âmy heartbeat pulses in my fingertips, anxious and ready to turn thoughts into words. Itââ¬â¢s the me part. The introspection part. The part where I throw all sense of modesty to a reckless abandon and bellow my praises till my throatââ¬â¢s bloody raw. I dislike the idea of this essay, because I dislike the idea of taking a magnifying glass to my insides. Itââ¬â¢s self analysisââ¬âpeeling back the paper-thin layer of my skin and prodding at the sticky insides, examining myself like a wide-open cadaver laid out on the table. It makes me uncomfortable. Some people embrace the idea of self analysis like a brother. Itââ¬â¢s easy for them. They like it. But Iââ¬â¢m like the parents that turn their heads, deaf to the words of the children they no longer seem to understand. Donââ¬â¢t ask, donââ¬â¢t tell. Iââ¬â¢d rather be here, just inside of this body, feel my heart throb against my skin, feel my bones stretch and yawn when I move. I just want to live. Iââ¬â¢d rather not know what weeds have rooted up in the sidewalk of my mind. Blinders in place, eyes firmly forward. Thatââ¬â¢s my motto. But who can learn from that? And what kind of noteworthy experience will that be if I simply walk away, gaining nothing but the rubbed-raw, violated feeling of self mutilation? A poor one, thatââ¬â¢s what kind. The hero cannot lose. The demon must be vanquished and I must barrel forward, live to be uncomfortable another day. How will I deal with this? How will I win? Iââ¬â¢m going to write. Write this essay, write more essays, keep writing. Iââ¬â¢m going to take the magnifying glass and shove it down my throat until I know every twist and turn, every shiny smooth part, every place thatââ¬â¢s been rubbed raw, red and inflamed. And then Iââ¬â¢ll write some more. Just like that. Fast and painless, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Though I daresay a Band-Aid never demanded quite so much thought. Howââ¬â¢s that for introspection?
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